Review: The Phantom of the Opera

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It was sometime in the late 90’s or early 2000’s. My father, my brother, and I were at the local Blockbuster, now a cultural relic, looking for a movie to distract us from the hot Arizona afternoon where the sweltering heat forced us to stay indoors. My brother and I had recently finished all of the Goosebumps movies and thought that it was time for us elementary school kids to move on to something more mature, something more intellectual, something that would undoubtedly increase our social capital on the school playground. We picked out The Phantom of the Opera from the “Classics” shelf and proudly took our selection to our father who, upon seeing our choice said, “Oh that’s a silent movie you won’t like that.” So we put it back. Silent films are for nerds and squares and my brother and I were neither. I think we ended up getting Psycho instead. Now that movie had blood and a naked woman! Oh golly gee willikers!