Hayride, Full Movie 1h33m, Released 2012
The very best horror movies take something that is slightly scary and turn the fright knob up to eleven. Think of the famous Halloween franchise, as a kid Halloween is slightly scary, but if there were masked, invincible killers stalking your neighborhood, it’d be utterly frightening. Recall the ever-current Friday the 13th franchise: kids away from home for the first time at summer camp, sure that was a little scary when you were 12, add in a masked, invincible killer stalking your summer camp, again utterly frightening.
So here we have Terron R. Parsons’ take on that angle: a fellow is home for fall break from college with his sweetheart and invites her along on a slightly spooky nighttime hayride. This time an escaped, masked killer happens to be on the loose and brings a childhood legend to life: PITCHFORK. The world’s angriest hayride patron, determined to make everyone pay…
…with their lives.
No Tell Motel, Full Movie 1h23m, Released 2012
If there is anything creepier than an abandoned motel in the middle of nowhere, the filmmakers responsible for No Tell Motel couldn’t think of it. Their vision of such a place obviously includes a malevolent, supernatural force patiently biding its time at the motel until a group of unsuspecting friends (with very poor navigational abilities) get stranded when their RV breaks down.
Obviously they have no choice but to spend the night in the creepy motel; and when they do, secrets are revealed and the angry, restless spirits take vengeance upon the living.
All American Zombie Drugs, Full Movie 1h39m, Released 2013
This week, Kings of Horror brings you the Cheech and Chong of zombie infection drugs: Vinny and Sebastian. Yes, they’re losers who, despite recently graduating from high school, are going nowhere in their small town. Yes, they’re drug addicts with little redeeming social value, but when they find a recipe for street drugs on the internet they suddenly get addicted to something else: entrepreneurship! Well, drug dealing. Until, that is, they learn that their homemade party drug concoction turns its users into zombies and everyone knows the old adage: you can’t sell anything to a zombie, unless you like getting paid in brains.
If you can’t laugh at stoners and zombies, you probably can’t laugh at anything.
American Scumbags, Full Movie 51m, Released 2016
On occasion, the things that land at the chamber door of Kings of Horror aren’t always strictly horror films. For example, the sophomore effort from writer-director-actor director Dakota Bailey. American Scumbags is a follow-up to his previous film, My Master Satan, that follows three real scumbags with oddly intertwined lives. These three exist at the fringes of society and slog through a terrible underworld of drugs, crime, debauchery and even murder. Obviously murder, as one of the characters is a hit man for hire and obviously drugs because one of the characters is a drug dealer; the debauchery and degradation are just along for the ride as these three struggle to survive in a world that lies beneath the comfortable white bread world the rest of us take for granted.
Maybe the possibility that people like these three could be alive and well in your very city is what makes this a horror movie!
Alter Ego, Full Movie 1h03m, Released 2002
Perhaps you have heard of Japanese director Takashi Shimizu, creator of The Grudge and the Ju-On series. Perhaps you have not, if you’re a fan of the various offerings of Kings of Horror, quality filmmaking may not be your jam. Worry not, loyal fans! This sweet baby is as bad as anything we’ve got on the channel, of course anything this bad is actually good, in horror terms, so buckle in for the fearsome tale of a Japanese schoolgirl model shoot gone horribly wrong!
Alter Ego tells the story of three young aspiring models on their very first fashion shoot (as schoolgirls, obvs) at an abandoned school one hot summer day. Without warning strange events begin occurring around the set that cause the models and photo crew to question their sanity as one by one they begin dying mysterious, agonizing and painful deaths.
Much like Godzilla and anime vending machines Alter Ego has never been seen outside of Japan…until NOW! You’re welcome!