Review: From Beneath

From-Beneath

This one is strange, a movie where almost nothing actually happens. And when it does happen, it’s guaranteed that the only two characters in the movie will react in a totally inappropriate way. From Beneath is essentially a CABIN FEVER knock-off in which a couple’s pleasant dip in a pond turns into a nightmare of infection, madness, and sacrifice to a (mostly unseen) leviathan. Sounds like fun right?

It sure could have been, and the production values are good, but unfortunately the makers didn’t seem to know that just because you can point a camera somewhere doesn’t mean you should. So what we get are pretty images with almost no meaning behind them, and a lot of jaw-droppingly bizarre dialog. These people talk unlike anyone I’ve ever heard, and the Emerson references thrown in here and there only underscore the overall lack of intelligence. When the heroine shouts “How could I be so stupid?!”, I couldn’t find an answer for her. Logic is thrown totally out the window, and that doesn’t have to be a terrible thing, but the movie is laboriously slow moving. A judicious and clever editor could cut it down to probably 30 minutes and have a rip-roaring short.

This might seem like a ringing non-endorsement of From Beneath, but there are actually unintentional laughs aplenty here, (the heroine’s hilariously drawn-out realization that light damages her infected boyfriend is a highlight), and the climax manages to be somewhat effective. I would take a drink every time a character does something that actually makes sense, though you may end up feeling the urge to sneak a couple in between.

Scariness: 
2-crowns-small
Hotness: 
2-crowns-small

Gore: 
3-crowns-small

Acting: 
1-crowns-small

Review by: Baron Von Marte

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