I’ve seen a lot of good films. I’ve seen a lot of bad films. But I haven’t quite seen anything like Guy Crawford’s Flesh, TX. Take that however you want.
The film actually starts on a decently good foot. We got some kooky characters in a small town, a little bit of mystery, a lot of country music. I’m on board. However, when the over-complicated plot kicks in and the characters start to talk, it all falls apart. There’s a lot of characters in the film, most of whom are completely irrelevant so I’ll strip the plot down for you as best as I can. The film follows Donna Parker (Eleni C. Krimitsos) as she tries to find who daughter Tabitha (Jada Kline) who has recently gone missing after the two stopped at a gas station in the off-the-map town of Flesh, TX on there way to California. Her search leads her to the inbred, cannibalistic Barley family who sends their sexy daughter Sugar (Kathleen Benner) out into the town to pick up unassuming strangers and lead them back to the Barley residence where they can chop them up and eat them for supper! How’s that for southern comfort food!
The story is all too familiar. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The Hills Have Eyes. Frontier(s). House of 1000 Corpses. They’ve all done the crazy family trope, and they’ve all done it well. So what does Flesh, TX add to the mix? Well, sadly, not much. Well, maybe more boobs. Scratch that – definitely more boobs. There’s a lot of boobs in Flesh, TX.
So when you have a film with wooden acting, gaping plot-holes, tech equipment visible everywhere, and such terrible sound editing that you can barely hear the dialogue in many scenes, how do you make it good? Amp up the absurdity (and the amount of screen time of the leading lady Sugar). The important thing to keep in mind is that Flesh, TX is a parody. And while this doesn’t necessarily make it a good movie, it makes a thoroughly enjoyable one. I laughed my ass off in Flesh, TX because it was so extremely ridiculous. At one point in the film Sugar calls her brother a “piss pot mother licker”. What does that mean? I have no idea but it has a beautiful cadence. This film knows its budgetary constraints and it knows how to work within these constraints to make something enjoyable. If you’re looking for a straightforward, logical, suspenseful horror film, this is not it. However, if you are looking for some of the worst acting and absurd characters, look no further.
Review by: Alex Schultz